Aston Rowant CC, Sunday 17 July 2022.

Heartaches 261-8 (35 overs: J Cohen 95, A Deverathippa 2-39, V Radhakrishnan 2-45, S Arnott 2-47) beat St Anne’s Allstars 201 all out (33.2 overs: S Perera 38, V Radhakrishnan 29, S Arnott 22*) by 60 runs.

Allstars Debut: Vivek Radhakrishnan

Report and photos by Pete Cresswell

(Set to the tune of “One Night in Bangkok” from the musical “Chess” – lyrics by Tim Rice – https://youtu.be/rgc_LRjlbTU)

Rowant, Chilterns setting

And the Allstars don’t know that the Allstars is getting

The creme de la creme of the cricket world

In a show with even the bat of Jos Buttler

Time flies doesn’t seem a minute

Since the Civil Service Ground had the All-ie boys in it

All change don’t you know that when you

Play at this level there’s no ordinary venue

—

It’s Matfield or Pousaflores or Antibes or

Or this place!

One day in Rowant and the world’s your oyster

The pitches are roads and the teas are free

You’ll find a scone in every golden clubroom

And if you’re lucky then it’s a cracking tea

I can feel a scotch egg sliding up to me

—

One pitch is very like another

When your head’s down over your creases, brother

Toss is lost, it’s a bowl, it’s really such a shame

To be wilting on the field, too hot to chase the game

—

Whaddya mean?

We dropped short, oppo captain cashed in big

—

Tea, fours, hot, sweat

Cresswell’s doing the scorebook – prime shaded seat 

—

We tried, picking up lots of wickets 

Even though plenty went to the pickets 

A few balls went above the waistline, sunshine

—

One day in Rowant makes an Allstar humble

Not much between despair and ecstasy

One day in Rowant and the tough guys tumble

At least Allstars are such great company

I can feel the te-eam walking next to me

Second dig’s gonna be the witness

To the ultimate test of cricketing fitness

This grips me more than would a

Muddy old river or reclining Buddha

—

And thank God I’m only watching the game controlling it

Next up is our guys batting

The asking rate we’re contemplating

Chase worth the watch, we did invite you 

But though we fell short it would excite you

—

So you better get out of your bars, your cinemas 

Your nice sun loungers 

—

One day in Rowant and the world’s your oyster

The pitches are roads and the teas are free

You’ll find a scone in every golden clubroom

And if you’re lucky then it’s a cracking tea

I can feel a scotch egg sliding up to me

One day in Rowant makes an Allstar humble

Not much between despair and ecstasy

One day in Rowant and the tough guys tumble

—

At least Allstars are such great company

I can feel the te-eam walking next to me