The end of the 2010 Dordogne Tour inevitably heralds the beginning of speculation as to who will be selected for the Allstars 2011 Tour squad. So we asked Michael Atherton, writing exclusively for the Allstars Blog, to give his views on the 2010 tourists’ chances of selection for 2011:

James Hindle: The never popular Hindle probably did enough on the field to warrant selection next time around.

Richard Stephenson: The Rocket fired once again, and can be assured of a place next year.

Paul Bowman: An all round disappointment. This was the third Tour in a row on which KP had to be carried by the rest of his team. He is rapidly turning into the Alistair Cook of the Allstars. What does he have to do to get dropped?

Paul Nicol: That guy performed admirably on the field and can start packing his bags now.

Garreth Duncan: No one doubts that his on-field performances earned GD a place on the 2011 Tour. The key question is: will married life limit his availability?

James Abrahams: The controversial Abrahams is a certain pick for 2011, as Maxie knows that legal proceedings would be initiated immediately if he were omitted.

Sqn Ldr Robert Jackson: Took the aerial route this year, to great effect. A likely pick for next year.

Ben Hampton: Lusty blows, aggressive bowling, and attractiveness to the ladies are all qualities that Maxie admires. Expect him to be picked for next year if he makes himself available.

Ian Bell: A controversial omission from the final squad, his chances of selection for 2011 will depend on how he performs in Australia this winter.

Vivek Seth: Made himself indispensable by captaining the side to victory against Eymet and taking a hatful of wickets.

Jon Hautot: The issue here is whether Jon will continue to be mired in betting scandals by the time of next year’s tour. It also won’t have gone unnoticed that he scored far more runs with the bat after a sharp crack to the head.

James Morgan: Will he be able to leave his sofa?

Nicholas Chadwick: Chadders’ contributions to the local nightlife are an essential part of any Allstars tour. As the only tourist to get into anyone else’s trousers this year, a return is likely.

Maxie Allen: The skipper – it wouldn’t be the Allstars without Maxie.

Jacques le bus: No. Just no.

Eymet, Sunday 26 September 2010.

St Anne’s Allstars 113-6 beat Eymet 112 (Paul Bowman 4-5, Paul Nicol 4-9) by 4 wickets.

Report by Garreth Duncan

A converted rugby field in the charming French town of Eymet is a place that will be forever Allstars. For Sunday 26 September 2010 will be a day that will go down in our history as the day when, finally, gloriously, the Allstars won an overseas game.

We prepared for the match in true French fashion with a game of boules on the outfield. But ours was not the only game in town, as the Mayor was in attendance for the local ladies’ football team’s first game, in which Eymet’s girls beat a team in, er, red and black, by the crushing margin of 14-0. Great entertainment for the local crowd, perhaps not the greatest omen for the Allstars.

After captain for the day Vivek Seth had decided to field first, Paul Bowman gave us the perfect start by having Rhodes caught behind by Jon Hautot before wrecking left-hander Tim Smith’s stumps with a perfect swinging yorker. At the other end, Nick Chadwick probed away on a tight line, keeping the Eymet batsmen in check.

Paul Nicol had surprisingly not been asked to bowl against St Aulaye the day before, and he showed us what we’d missed with the spell of the day. After removing Hinds and Fabb to catches to Tarka at slip and Ben Hampton at gully, he then had Bailey caught by KP and castled Morgan. Although the leader of the Nicolite faction couldn’t quite add another “Michelle” to his collection, by the time he’d finished Eymet were 46-6 and we were in complete control.

Eymet skipper Sam Hawell stood alone against the Allstar onslaught, playing strongly off his legs as he went to his fifty. But he had little support at the other end as skipper Vivek joined the wickets party, bowling Taylor with a full toss I can only describe as a “Rain Men delivery”. KP returned to mop up the tail, and we faced a victory target of 113. A modest score, but could we keep our nerve?

Vivek boldly sent in Ben to open the innings, and “Le Grand Cheval” rewarded his captain with a flying start, crashing 17 off just 11 balls, including a huge six over cow (horse?) corner, before having his off stump knocked out. Squadron Leader Rob Jackson continued the Allstars assault, crunching a couple of fours off the usually parsimonious Bishop. By the time he too was bowled we were 53-2 and nearly halfway there.

KP joined Tarka in the middle, and the Village pair took us to within 20 of the target with plenty of overs left to come. But it wouldn’t be the Allstars if we didn’t do it the hard way, and Tarka’s dismissal brought out the inevitable middle-order wobble, and it was James Abrahams who had the honour of hitting the winning runs.

We all celebrated à la français with post-match cheese and wine with the opposition. Vivez les Toutes Etoiles!

Man of the Match: Paul Nicol. Che Guevara’s guerilla assault wrecked Eymet’s middle order.

Champagne Moment: Ben Hampton’s monster six – sending us flying out of the starting stalls.

All the Allstars have now returned to Blighty.

The Tour was a success both on and off the field. On the field, we finished with a record of Played 2 Won 1 Lost 1. It was our best ever overseas result, made all the more impressive in that it was achieved despite Paul Bowman’s sloppy bowling and lacklustre batting. Off the field, a great time was had by all.

The lion’s share of the credit must go to Maxie of course. We all tease him mercilessly for his Mainwaring-esque leadership, but none of us have organised so much with such success. Thanks fella! I’m sure that all our readers will agree that he deserves a well-earned rest after all his hard work…

Yesterday evening, the last night of the Tour, we held the 2010 Tour Awards Dinner. Here are the results.

Tourist of the Year (on field): The Awards Committee found it surprisingly easy to dismiss the achievements of Paul Bowman, which proved very popular with the audience. But it was more difficult to pass over a number of others, including Paul Nicol for his all round effort, and groom-to-be Garreth Dunkan, for his consistently good bowling. Buy the award went to the Allstar who took wickets in both matches and achieved the unique feat of captaining the Allstars to victory abroad: VIVEK SETH.

Tourist of the Year (off field): This was an altogether much easier decision. There was an honourable mention for Chadders, in recognition of his contribution to Anglo-French relations. But the award went to the sine qua non of the Tour and indeed the Allstars as a whole; a man who enriches all of our lives: MAXIE ALLEN.

The winners:

Jacques le bus est arrivé
Jacques le bus est arrivé
Jacques le bus est arrivé
Jacques le bus est arrivé
Bonjour Jacques le bus
Comment allez vous?
Bonjour Jacques le bus
Les Allstars aiment vous!

Words and music by N. Chadwick.
(c) 2010